Everyday Systems: nosdiet: message 1688 of 3212

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Subject: Re: Two lbs and holding/ Debs rant about home challenges....
From: Deborah B. Feder
Date: Mon, 18 Oct 2004 00:53:36 -0000

--- In , "Diane Sheats" <Diane_Design@e...> 
>I think one of the hardest things (for children AND adults) is 
learning the difference between willpower and discipline. 

...And understanding that you can't really force *your* will on 
someone else. Fortunately for me, Richard is really smart, for *any* 
age and I can actually reason with him, he has taken to this plan 
easily...Infact, truth be told, he has been much more of a positive 
force in my own ability to discipline myself :)
Both of us are finally enjoying good meals together that I am 
actually cooking! (not just ordering chinese or pizza every other 
day) Tonight was delicious potato latkes with apple sauce for 
dipping and (since it is still an S day) some turbinado sugar 
sprinkled on top. Yummy!
I don't expect to be down in weight until further notice :)

Willpower has very little value in the long run; 
> discipline has immense value. So you are really helping your son 
now that you've found No S.

....I respectfully don't agree with that Diane :)
I believe that Willpower basically is the Force that allows us to 
achieve our Destiny and is extremely important, however discipline 
is more reliable and you need both. The funny thing, and now I am 
going to agree with your hypothesis taken from a different angle, is 
that the Will can only go so far and does diminish with the years. 
Why? Here is Eastern Philosophy 101, lecture series 102...

Every person, according to Chinese Medicine (my preferred approach 
to functional anatomy), has a finite amount of something called 
Jing. This is the essential prenatal energy from our parents, and 
it is stored in our Kidneys...Once this is depleted with normal 
aging, and also reproduction (achieving our destiny) and there is no 
more Jing, you die...The kidneys physical and spiritual functions 
are: to govern growth and "rule the bones", and secondly they "house 

the Will"...so you are right in questioning how helpful Will, 
especially over time, can be on it's own...

> Moms and daughters living together will ALWAYS have challenges 
(just ask me how I know! LOL), but I am sure you've made progress 
and will continue to do so.

....Yes progress towards the State Asylum! :)

If your mom basically approves of the common-sense approach you 
have taken, as she continues to see good results in both you and 
your son, I imagine that the thoughtless sabotage episodes will 

....That is going on the assumption that we are dealing with a 
rational person...And as exaggerated as this sounds my mom will 
never "approve" of anything common sense from me and in general 

tries to keep me as miserable as she is..This is the kind of "love" 

she got as a kid, and she knows no other brand...Infact the more 
willfull or forward moving I get, the more the subtle and not so 
subtle clashes increase...It really sucks. I can only hope that I 
get on my feet asap and get our own place again.
Thanks for writing Diane :)
PS did you ever look into the massage idea?
Write me if you do.
Have a great week Diane and my fellow No S'sers of the World Wide 

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