Everyday Systems: nosdiet: message 1776 of 3212

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--- In , alexfallsmom@a... wrote:

> i have had a revalation... last night (couldn't sleep) i was 
wallowing in self-pity 

Hey Donna, again, come on girl! cut your stressed out self some 
slack :) ....it's ok to feel self pity, and no need to be ashamed 
of it. You are your own best source for the love that you need, and 
sometimes even your closest family can't provide you with it...I'm 
sure you are all doing your best. But, something is bothering you 
in your life and you're trying to figure out what pushes your 
buttons and what buttons you are resposible for...That's a healthy 
process. If we could divorce our feelings and our stress from our 
eating patterns I'm sure none of us would be in a diet support 
group. Obviously it is not so healthy to "blame" others for your 

own eating, but hey, if you are simply trying to locate what your 
triggers are, that really ok. Then take responsibility for taking 
or not taking action.
This plan is a great life tool in learning, with a clear simple 
approach, to put some order into our lives...Not too much mind you, 
but when the shit hits the fan, if all our habits are, at least 
somewhat in place, the "stress" eating should be alot better over 

time :)

maybe i just need to live and let live, and 
not eat over my feelings. wow !

"eat over" your feelings. That is interesting how you put it.
Do you mean you won't eat over, in the sense of "because" of your 

feelings, or do you mean, literally eat *over* your feelings in the 
sense of "smothering" or "covering up"...I guess it's a fine 
point, 
but clearly the second scenario, is the one to avoid...Feel your 
feelings and eat your food, but when I am really upset, lately (and 
we are talking about after 35 years of bad conditioning) I really 
try to wait a few minutes for my angry or sad feelings to come out 
and then resolve before I put the fork to my lips... I believe that 
when we eat under stress, we "consume" the feelings as well as the 

physical food on the plate, and we usually don't enjoy the food as a 
result...It's a process, so just start taking account of the habits 
that are there already, as you seem to be doing now, but try not to 
pass judgement on yourself, just observe them, and keep trying to 
stick with the NoS plan as best you can...It really is there to help 
you....
God loves us all unconditionally, lets try to live in his ways and 
be loving to ourselves.
Maybe instead of "No Excuses" (which by the way, would be a NO E, 

lol)
you might want to think of "No Self judgement" and rather self 

improvement :)
It's a process, be patient with yourself.
Love,
Deb