Everyday Systems: nosdiet: message 2319 of 3212

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well i clean like your friend i cant clean i think its because i have ADD 

but my son has ADD and he works for a cleaning service and gets excellent
reports . i used to clean other peoples houses but i cant clean mine i 
start
like you said then end up cleaning a drawer or a closet and pull everything
out and have more of a mess
being a perfectionist often makes us not do things because we cant do them
to our own satisfaction so we dont do them at all ... that would be me. 

fear of failure 
my house is a mess but if someone was coming it would be cleaned up .. 
but
for now its a mess when i woke up this morning i gave my self the job of
doing the laundry and the dishes lets see if i listen to myself 

-------Original Message-------

From: 
Date: 12/05/04 08:39:33
To: 
Subject: Re: [nosdiet] Re: Diane/perfectionism


Jeanette -

I wish there weren't so many of us! I end up having a lot of friends who 

are like me, only worse, and I hope you can say the same because it is 

somewhat comforting to know that "at least you're not *that* bad." =) One 

of my old friends, for example, was extremely perfectionistic, but you 
would

think she was a "messy," because if you dropped in when she wasn't 
expecting

you, there would be laundry, unwashed dishes, and clutter everywhere. If 

she did know you were coming, it would probably be stuffed away in a 
bedroom. But she was, in fact, a perfectionist, and I know she was 
constantly on the go...just not efficient or effective. When she did start 

cleaning, she could get sidetracked and start scrubbing nooks and crannies 

in bathroom fixtures with a toothbrush, while the "big picture" of the rest 

of the bathroom waited for her...and then she was probably caught short 

again. I am not being critical because this is my tendency too!! My 
parents may have reined this in a bit and forced me to be more realistic, 

but otherwise, I'd be right there. Perfectionism plus distractibility is a 

dangerous combination, eh? I am *very* distractible.

On the other hand, if I weren't a perfectionist, I wouldn't be good at my 

job, and I wouldn't be able to do some of the nice creative projects that 
my

friends and family appreciate and admire. *Somebody* needs to see to the 

details, so don't be too hard on yourself!

I tried Flylady, too (Debbie, see www.flylady.com ...it's very unique and 

amusing!), but it got overwhelming and I'm not in charge of a household so 
I

couldn't apply much of it. It's interesting to hear that it made you worse 

instead of better! I think that the fact you can see *where* your problem 

is, is a big start. Too many perfectionists I know don't have a clue what 

their problem is. And others, whose lives are incredibly complicated so 

they are always stressed, don't even see a need to de-complicate (oh, sorry,

I guess we do have a word for that: "simplify!"). I said something to one 

of those friends about my/our need to simplify, and she said, "No, I don't 

want my life simpler! I'm not willing to give anything up!" Well, then. 

=) Sorry, but I *do* want a simpler life.

I don't know why being on this list keeps pulling "sayings" out of me, but 

here's another one: "Done is better than perfect." With our personalities,

that is really hard to swallow, but it was given to me by one of the most 

efficient, amazing young ladies I know! She is quite happy and gets 
everything done. I'm trying it--you can too! =)

Diane 

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