Everyday Systems: nosdiet: message 2669 of 3212

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Hey all :)
I have been stuck in the house way way way way way way way too long.
I'm losing it! LOL
Seriously call 911 someone :)
I made a huge pot of very healthy and delicious vegetable soup today 
with lots of great stuff, spinach, onions, garlic, sweet potato, all 
good, but I went nuts and ate not only seconds, but thirds and 
fourths... I am pretty pissed at myself for that. And I was so 
uncomfortable for the whole night.. I thought I would burst and 
explode, that's how full I felt...
I don't have any excuse for this, but I am really happy to know that 
my body and my new found appreciation for eating more normally this 
year had me saying "I can't believe I was ever content to stuff 
myself till overfull, this totally sucks, and why did I do it?"
I'm upset at my overeating, but in the large scheme of things, I 
think I would be more upset if I just continued that way, oblivious 
and totally out of tune with my physical feelings...
Psychologically I was really really mad that I didn't try to stop 
myself and therefore depressed and mad all night... It's funny, I 
mentioned how dissappointed I was to my mom, who incidentally is now 
trying Weight watchers *again*... Her food "checkbook" is on the 

kitchen table and it shows her credits and debits to the 
food "account"... I could never do that as a way of life... I am 

looking at calories a bit more, just to make some informed choices 
and out of curiosity, I guess. Anyway, she said "well it's only 
vegetable soup so it doesn't have that many calories" I guess to 
console me... It was at that point that I realized I was more upset 
that I broke back into a bad old habit than I would have been had I 
simply eaten something fattening... I was really mad that I had 
Seconds, whether it was vegetable soup or not.. I ate much more than 
seconds so, I'm sure there were some calories involved too, but I 
was mad that I wouldn't get my slash and truly upset that I didn't 
use my new good habits... I guess this is some kind of 
mental/behavioral progress, even though technically it is also a 
setback (hmmm paradoxical stuff), since my mindset is really truly 
changing for the better and I am expecting the best I can give :)
I pray that I don't have too many of these in the near future 
because I feel so crappy....
Sorry to whine yall, I need a group hug :)
Love,
Deb
PS. When the heck is Winter going to end??????!!!!!
LOL