Everyday Systems: nosdiet: message 483 of 3212

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I've been seeing the following behavioral pattern in a
lot of posts:

1) brief perfection
2) slight mess up (a cookie)
3) disappointed perfectionism + opportunistic appetite
turns slight mess up into major disaster (bag of
cookies and then some)
4) self revenge, extra deprivations, goto #1

The trick to breaking this cycle is understanding that
#2 *will* happen at some point, and though you should
do your utmost to avoid it, you have to mentally
prepare yourself so it doesn't escalate to #3, and if
despite this preparation you descend to a #3, don't go
to number #4. Realize that a bag of cookies is much
worse than just one, and that self revenge is worse
than even this. Realize that every additional cookie
you eat beyond the first is a whole new failure; the
second and third don't get to piggyback on the first.
2 cookies are twice as bad as 1. 3 are 3 times as bad.
Really. It's no different than messing up on 3
different occasions. Obvious, right? Cookies and math,
first grade material. But you are wired to think just
the opposite. Rewire yourself. 

Whether cookie level or bag level, do not compensate
for failures by extra deprivations. The lesson you
teach your habit-brain by doing this is that it is
free to mess up in the future because it can always
make for it later. The possibility of a make up test
encourages failure. Get it right, no more, no less. If
you fail, get up and start passing. Pass. That's it.
That's hard enough. No extra credit. Failures have no
business going for extra credit. Go for extra credit
and you'll fail again. Just pass.

Think of it like driving. You can't undo past tickets
by driving extra carefully. You can only hope to avoid
future tickets, and that 7 years will go by and your
record will be wiped clean. In the same way, you can't
ever undo that bag of cookies you ate yesterday, but
if you're thin in a year from now, no one will care.

This isn't nosdiet specific. You'll have to face the
same psychological issues no matter what kind of diet
or system of self discipline you're on.

See also:

"What if I screw up?"

http://www.nosdiet.com/#screwup