Everyday Systems: nosdiet: message 1485 of 3212

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Well...

All these reports of success are good for me to hear. I have been on a 

serious binge since Friday. My life is like that carnival game where you 

have a big rubber hammer and about five holes that have heads popping out of 

them. As soon as you bash one head back into its hole, another head pops 

out of another hole. Eventually you are frantically whirling this way and 

that, bashing heads all over the place, yet you can't keep them all down...

My life resembles that game in more ways than one -- with the problems that 

keep popping up everywhere, and the addictions that keep popping up. They 

call it changing seats on the titanic when you give up one addiction and 

pick up another. I find that when I cut back on my drinking and smoking, I 

pick up on my eating. When my eating is disciplined, my drinking and 
smoking increase.

Anyway, I know that's not the focus of this forum, so I'll move on. I guess 

what I really want to say is that I've felt miserable ever since I got off 

track with No S, and I want to get back on track and NOT keep going on/off, 

on/off. That's the defeating the whole purpose of this being a lifestyle 

change and not a 'diet'. Though I guess if it's a lifestyle change, it's 

not something you can go on and off of.

I don't know. I'm pretty confused at this point. What I DO know is that I 

liked the way I felt after three weeks of No S, and I decidedly DON'T like 

the way I feel now. My M/O is to usually keep going down the path of self 

destruction until I can't take it anymore. But before it gets that bad, I'd 

like to nip it in the bud and start over. The problem is, I don't think I 

can...

Valerie



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