Everyday Systems: nosdiet: message 1518 of 3212

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> When I first found NoS, about a month and a half ago, I was so 
gung- ho. The first three weeks, I messed up (small slips) one day 
out of each week. Then the slips started getting bigger and bigger 
and eventually grew into a full-fledged binge. Now I just cannot 
seem to get back on track. 

Hi Valerie...Firstly try not to measure yourself against others...I 
imagine that, as wonderful, colorful, "disciplined of mind" and 

whatever else you gleaned from the everyday people, they are too 
with faults and, (dare I say it? okay I dare..)
fuckups...This is part of being a human, and unless you are from 
planet Druidia, you are too, part of this "flawed" species...
Accept this, it is a comfort...You know you want to change, now, 
like Lee said, be patient with yourself...But I will go one further.
Be forgiving to yourself, really truly forgiving....I know I said it 
before, and you didn't write back, I think I said this, but I'll 
risk being redundant...When you have a "small slip" try to change 

the way you view it...If you see it only as a Setback, on your 
ultimate road to success, you will continue to move on and keep your 
mind positive...If you go into the most successful company, and 
speak to the most successful people they can show you a list as long 
as their arm, of these setbacks...But the difference is that they 
had a goal, and they weren't going to let those setbacks stop them.
What are these "slips" for you? Are they second helpings, sugar, 

snacking, all of the above? Maybe you should try to concentrate on 
making a baby step plan of mastering one good habit a day, and if by 
chance, the other two, don't get all of your attention, that would 
be ok, in the beginning...To me it sounds like you are really 
fearful of "screwing up" and can't even look forward to eating for 

pleasure's sake...The great thing about No S is that you can really 
choose whatever you want to eat...I guarantee you that this totally 
makes the plan a really revolutionary thing...You have the freedom 
to make choices and ENJOY your food...If you fall off your horse, be 
brave, be kind to yourself, DON'T say "I don't care", instead say "I 

will do better next time, I DO CARE" and then say a little 
prayer...it will go all around the world and wind up back in your 
self confidence depository, and little by little, will push out 
those old prerecorded "why bother?" messages.
If it helps any, we are all certainly not perfect, so don't be 
embarrassed to continue to talk with us...Hey, last night I ate a 
bag of popcorn and a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner, but I 
didn't eat the coffee cake which my mothers friends brought by. 
Okay, I admit that the choices I made won't make me lose huge 
amounts of weight in five minutes, but I really enjoyed
1. The popcorn and grilled cheese, and they counted as a meal
(albeit one that a 6 year old might like :)
2. My courageous self removal from the temptalicious coffee cake.
Atkins approved, no...Good habit enforcing, yes...Freedom of choice.
The me before No S would have had two bags of popcorn and maybe some 
ice cream on top...I know that I am moving in the right direction..
Slow and steady wins the race...It's like getting a college 
degree...Some days are good, some are downright disasters, and there 
are times you wonder if you will totally give up, or fail, and maybe 
even fail some classes, but as long as you stick with it, eventually 
you wind up with a degree. This is what long term goal setting is 
like in eating...It's a package deal with ups and downs, so try to 
accept that and you may find it easier to cope.

You can do it if you give yourself a break, and don't fret every 
little blunder...The psychological vicious cycle, of beating 
yourself up will only re-enforce binge patterns...Pat yourself on 
the back every single time you do something positive, and get tunnel 
vision...Try to only focus on the positive...You can do it...Even if 
you eat 99.9% of a whopper with fries and a soda to boot, maybe try 
to leave, one frie or one bite of whopper or maybe just say, okay no 
soda today...Whatever small accomplishment you can acknowlege as pro-
active will help you stay out of the vicious cycle...Be your own 
cheering team. We will certainly support you.
Now you have to do a little self support, every day, too.
Into every dark tunnel, even a black hole, look for that ray of 
light to pull you through.
Love,
Debbie
PS I have been No Sing for a month now and have happily kept off 5 
lbs...Originally it was 8 but then I had raging pms and had a few 
pretty salty chinese meals...My waist has stayed the same...I kept 
off the 1 inch and that is my inch of glory!
Good luck :)





Just getting from breakfast to lunch, and lunch to dinner without a 
screw-up is starting to feel way out of reach.
> 
> I need to come up with some way to get from one meal to the next 
> without breaking the rules. 
>