Everyday Systems: nosdiet: message 372 of 3212

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Subject: Re: [nosdiet] Help-fell off diet-angry
From: Reinhard Engels
Date: Fri, 23 Jan 2004 04:37:58 -0800 (PST)
Hi Portia,

Portia, I'm sorry to hear you've run into trouble.
Justin's advice is right on. In the same vein, to
obnoxiously quote myself:

From: http://www.nosdiet.com/#screwup


What if I screw up?

Say "I screwed up" and try not to do it again. Don't
try to compensate for your screw up by extra
deprivations -- self-revenge will only make you
resentful and that much more likely to quit
altogether. This diet isn't about perfection, it's
about staying healthy. It's about what you do most of
the time, not about achieving some kind of world's

The other advantage of this attitude is that it
deprives you of a very seductive excuse -- I can cheat
because I can make up for it later. The knowledge that
there is no make up test, that you have only one
chance to do each day right, will make you that much
more serious about passing the first and only time
around. It's a principle worth applying to other
aspects of life.

Be strict before you screw up, not after, and you'll
soon find you have very few "after"s to worry about.


I do think nosdiet is easier than any other diet plan
I've heard of. But that doesn't mean it's easy, it's
still hard. And depending on the state of your habits
and situation, it may be much harder for you than for
others. But no mattter what diet you're on, it's going
to take just this kind of will. You don't have a
choice in that regard (unless you're thinking stomach
stapling). Your only effective choice when you've
messed up is to shake off the dust and get right back
on it. But as mentioned above, don't compensate with
extra deprivations; if you couldn't handle the basic
diet there's no way you're going to be able to jump to
extra. Do look at what messed you up, and see if there
is some little practical tweak in your routine you can
make to resist the temptation next time (like, "don't
have cookies in the house" or "bigger meals for now").
But don't start trading days right and left, or clamp
down on yourself like Mussolini. Your appetite will be
much more impressed if you show restraint, and keep in
your corner of the ring despite its unruly behavior.

As for this golden window stuff, it's defeatism. Keep
it farther from you than the cookie jar.

Have I ever screwed up? Technically, maybe in some
little detail. But I because I consciously never beat
myself up about it it never escalated into a classic
full blown self-reproach induced screw up like the one
you describe. I don't think massive screwups are
possible without the self reproach cycle. And don't
think of yourself as somehow fundamentally different
and flawed because this did happen to you. Think of
the attitude that permitted it to happen, and don't
give in to it. When you see it like this, I think you
can see how it can be changed.

This is hard. Your problem, being overweight, is
inherently hard; there's no choice in the matter. But
don't be discouraged. Habit does eventually come
round. It's like waiting for reinforcements in a
battle where you're massively outnumbered. You just
have to hold out a little longer. If you take
casualties, keep fighting. This isn't an enemy you can
afford to surrender to.

Best of luck, and bug us incessantly if it's still not


--- portia612003 <jmlien@...> wrote:
> This is what always happens to me on a diet, and I
> hate it. A few 
> weeks thrilled with it, then a slip, then an extra
> S-day, then a 
> slide, then no fence around the diet, then a
> downward spiral into 
> discouragement. Then a few weeks spent looking for
> the next diet.
> I'm sick of it! I love the No-S diet, its elegance,
> its simplicity, 
> its adaptability to anyone's real life. I want to
> return to it. 
> I read about Atkins, that you have one "golden
> chance", that if you 
> slip and try to return, you won't be successful. 
> You blew it. 
> I refuse to believe it. Certainly my will can
> direct me to any diet 
> I choose. Anyone agree? Anyone deviate from the
> diet and then 
> return to renewed success?
> Many thanks in advance. 
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 © 2002-2005 Reinhard Engels, All Rights Reserved.